what is a microaggression?
a big word for a small action
microaggression
A microaggression can be defined as a verbal or non verbal insult or slight, which is sometimes intentional but other times unintentional. Microagressions are usually expressed towards marginalized groups, such as people of color, people with disabilities, people living in poverty, or based on sex.
For younger kids, it can be explained as words or actions that hurt someone else or make them feel excluded or different, whether the person meant to hurt them or not. The words or actions make the other person feel like they don't belong, or "not like us". That feeling hurts.
Microaggressions start like a single grain of sand in the bottom of your shoe. It doesn't really hurt, but it's uncomfortable. Imagine every so often, someone puts another grain or two of sand in your shoe. It starts to feel worse. How long before you can't walk any more because it hurts too much?
what does a microaggression look like?
"Why does your hair look like that?"
"Why do you eat that for lunch? It smells funny."
"Why do you talk with an accent?"
"Are your parents illegal?"
"You're smart for a girl"
"Your skin is so dark."
"Your name is too hard to pronounce."
"I wish I had ADHD like you so I could get more time on the test."
"You're Asian so you must be good at math."
"I bet you're good at sports since you're Black."
"You don't act like a girl./You don't act like a boy."
The crumpled paper experiment
A meaningful exercise on empathy for parents and teachers
STEP ONE
Give every child a blank piece of white paper. Ask them to describe the paper, i.e. smooth, clean, etc.
STEP TWO
Tell them to crumple the paper. They can bend it, crease it, step on it or squeeze it into a ball, but they should use care not to tear it.
STEP THREE
Ask the student to uncrumple their paper and smooth it out as best they can. Challenge them to get it back to its original state.
step four
thought provoking Questions
?
-
What do you notice about the paper now?
-
Was it hard to make the paper smooth and clean again?
-
Will the paper ever be like it was before?
-
How do you think the paper feels?
-
Will the wrinkles and dirt go away if you apologize to the paper?
-
Share with the kids that the same thing that happened to the paper is what happens when microaggressions/bullying occur. The "scars" of hurtful behavior remain even after an apology and are hard to make go away completely.
-
Teach kids that if someone says something that feels unkind, they can use their voice and ask, "Can you tell me what you mean?" Simply asking this question can help the person realize their mistake on their own.
